An Early Midlife Crisis

So we just learned that we are facing some pretty huge changes soon. When we were first married, Todd was planning on going to dental school, but decided to get his degree in Construction Management instead. At the time, the economy was doing well and the construction industry was soaring, and the decision seemed like a good one. Now, five years after graduation, things have changed a bit. With the downturn of the economy, the construction industry has really taken a hit in the last few years, and at the end of June, Todd was laid off for the third time in three years. It has been a very stressful time for our family. I thrive on security and stability, and being unemployed really doesn't do much in the way of providing either of these. I know that Todd has also struggled with feelings of depression and inadequacy since he has a strong desire to provide for our family and does not like feeling unable to do so. Even though all of his employers have assured him that they have loved working with him, and that it is just due to economic conditions that he has had to be let go, I know it has been difficult for him not to take it personally. In short, the last three years have been stressful for our family as we have faced this trial.

This week we found out that Todd was accepted to Eastern Washington University. The decision to apply was a sudden one, and the decision to actually go has had to be made quickly as well. Todd feels good about this decision (my mind is still reeling and has not accepted the reality of the situation yet), so we are moving to Spokane at the end of the month so that Todd can start taking the prerequisites for the nursing program. Right now, he plans to become an RN and then try to get into a nurse anesthetist program after a couple of years of work experience. The road will be a long one, and I'm not sure how we'll make it all work out, but we're just trying to have faith that if we do our best that Heavenly Father will fill in the gaps. Thankfully, Todd's parents have graciously allowed us to live with them for the three years it will take Todd to become an RN. That is a huge blessing, as his course load will be very heavy and it will be difficult for him to work much, if at all, for at least the first year. I'm sure I will have to find at least part time work, which is daunting to me since I have been blessed to just be able to stay home with our children since Tori was born. I'll also be giving up homeschooling Tori, since I will likely have to be working and don't feel like I'll be able to do both. It will probably be for the best, though, since there are no other little kids who live near Ted and Jean, and Tori would be very lonely during the day if we continued homeschooling. Plus, I just don't have the emotional strength right now to do homeschool well, and Tori deserves the best.

So big changes are on the (very near) horizon for our whole family. I am thankful to have a husband who is willing to do what it takes to support our family, even though the road will likely be long and difficult. I'm sure in the end this will be worth it, but right now it just feels huge and scary. I'm not sure how this is all going to work out for the next few years, but I'm just trying to have faith in Heavenly Father's ability to provide a way for us. I've also adopted Dory's song from "Finding Nemo" as my new theme song..."Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

Hopefully at the end of all of this our heads are still above the water!